Looking for answers

These are excerpts from emails Mariangela sent from Panama, before she knew she had Leukemia.

March 16

"Since I have arrived in Panama, it has been very intensive times. On the positive side i have been able to spend quality time with my family and I attended my brother's wedding, on the bad note my health has gone really bad.

Upon advice of my doctor, I have decide to stay in Panama some days longer to get some exams done to try to find out what is it that I have.

The doctor has told me that i must not work for at the least the next 2 weeks, because rest is a very important part of my healing.

Sorry about that, it is not great timing, but i do hope that after the two weeks i can come back to work full power.

On a separate note, i will let you know the projects from my side that need important follow up.

I will inform reception about my abscence."

March 17

"I am not too good. My body is on strike.

half my face is paralized, probaly due to a virus, then

3 molars should be operated because they are putting pressure on nerves and causing pain, but it cannot be operated because my iron levels are extremely low, then

My back pains crisis are more intense than ever, to the point I cry of pain.

I am a walking farmacy cause I am taking as many medications as possible.

I am visiting the neurologist this afternoon, and I will probably have to make a "resonance magnetique"? Nobody so far understands the cause of the pains.

So, I am not in best shape.

But the doctors keep telling me that it is nothing serious and that I have to calm down and not stress (yeah right). Rest is important. And I get plenty of that here.

I am generally in a good mood except when my back pain crisis start, which is once or twice daily.

People here are wonderful, all my family is spoiling me, I am being seen by the best of the best doctors, at speed of sound and either doctors call in the check up on me, or we call them ANY time to ask for advice.

THANK GOD I am here.

Tomorrow I will have a clearer picture of what is going .

Kids and peter are fine, and my babysitter is supporting greatly.

I hope to see you soon guys.

On a good note, the wedding was really beautiful and we had a wonderful time together.

Keep you posted. Sorry for "throwing more work at you due to my abscence

. :-("

March 23

"I wanted to let you know that i am feeling much better now.

The doctors have been able to control my pain with strong medication, but unfortunately they have not been able still to identify the cause of my problems. So they are treating the symtoms not the cause, which is not really fantastic news.

My "resonance magnetique" went well, they did not find anything wrong with my nervous system and neither the various ultrasounds showed any abnormality, which in princinple means that i am a very healthy person in supperb shape that should leave at least 60 more active years...but the reality is different and there is this virus that is weakining me terribly-

The good thing with viruses is that they come (make you feel miserable) but eventually they go, so i am hanging on to this theory and i am positive that i will be healthy soon.

My facial paralysis is still there, it should take weeks to go....but as long as it does, no problem. I am doing acupuncture to speed up the recovery process and a lot of exercise...my brothers tease me, calling me Sylvester Stallone, so that gives you an idea how i look like...;-)

Apart from that, well, i still do not know how long i need to stay in panama as i am not able to travel as "stoned" as i am. Maybe the insurance organizes a nurse to accompany me during the flight or something. I do want to go home soon to see my family, but honestly i also feel more comfortable here that i have 24 hours someone next to me in case i have problems or so, which i still do have dispete medication. In switzerland i would be home alone and that is very stressful for me. And doctors are not as reactive as here, and here the emergency room is 5 minutes away...

I will keep in touch and let you know about any progress.

i cannot thank you enough for your support. It is realy great guys how nice you are to me. That really helps me get better soon.

I wish you good luck the next days and say hello to everyone.

Best regards from Panama."